God Disapproves De Lima's Prayer Posted on Facebook
THE HEAVENS - The Good Lord Above, Creator of the Universe and CEO of the Christian religion expressed His disapproval of Leila de Lima's prayer posted on her Facebook page last Tuesday, October 25.
The prayer, addressed to the Heavenly Father, was titled Oratio Imperata to End Extrajudicial Killings. It was meant to invoke God's great love to put an end to the extrajudicial killings that are currently plaguing the Philippines.
"Compassionate Lord, we are deeply saddened by the extrajudicial killings in our towns and cities, mostly unsolved and drug-related," the prayer says. "We, as Your people, are helpless in the face of this evil."
The Lord our God called the prayer hypocritical.
In an exclusive, fictional interview with The Filipino Garlic, the Good Lord said that He expressly asked His Son Jesus Christ to talk about this in his brief 33 year stay on Earth.
"Did she even read Matthew 6:6?" asked God. "And Oratio Imperata can only be invoked by the CBCP!"
The verse mentioned by the Lord talks about praying in public. "[W]hen you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
The prayer, addressed to the Heavenly Father, was titled Oratio Imperata to End Extrajudicial Killings. It was meant to invoke God's great love to put an end to the extrajudicial killings that are currently plaguing the Philippines.
"Compassionate Lord, we are deeply saddened by the extrajudicial killings in our towns and cities, mostly unsolved and drug-related," the prayer says. "We, as Your people, are helpless in the face of this evil."
The Lord our God called the prayer hypocritical.
In an exclusive, fictional interview with The Filipino Garlic, the Good Lord said that He expressly asked His Son Jesus Christ to talk about this in his brief 33 year stay on Earth.
"Did she even read Matthew 6:6?" asked God. "And Oratio Imperata can only be invoked by the CBCP!"
The verse mentioned by the Lord talks about praying in public. "[W]hen you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
God said that He will probably give de Lima a gift this Christmas. "I'll give her a bible."
When The Filipino Garlic asked God about the recent spat of extrajudicial killings that are plaguing the country, He said "No comment."
This news article is obviously a satire.
No comments: