Filipino Deep Web Diver Dies After Drowning in Own Stupidity
THE HIDDEN WIKI, Deep Web — A self-proclaimed Filipino hacker and edgy diver drowned in the bowels of the Deep Web after drowning in his own stupidity, according to internet memers Thursday, June 8.
The victim, who was known only by his edgy code name "Ravine Hero", was last seen struggling in the ocean of his own ignorance and stupidity that he accumulated by reading Deep Web articles.
The Deep Web is known for illegal activity, questionable articles, as well as stories that are obviously fake but apparently Filipinos fully believe.
According to some of his friends, Hero was too scientifically illiterate to understand how the world works, so he dove into the Deep Web to search for articles that are easy to digest.
In his quest for ignorance, he found the Flat Earth Society of the Philippines, a group primarily composed of people who didn't listen in science class during their elementary and high school years.
Ravine Hero was survived by his equally ignorant supporters, who believe that he is still alive even after drowning in his own stupidity.
"Babalik po si Ravine. Nainject lang po yan ng AIDS tsaka kinidnap para gawing Lolita Doll. Pero babalik po siya," said one of his supporters, who wore a Guy Fawkes mask because he wants to be Anonymous.
"Most of these people do not know that if they open their mind too much, their brain might fall out," said Cide. "That is of course, they have a brain in the first place."
Meanwhile, the Philippine Navy and Coast Guard said they would monitor the situation and assured the public that the situation so far is under control.
"Kung malunod man sila sa katangan," said one of the Coast Guard personnel, "deserve na nila iyon."—The Filipino Garlic
The victim, who was known only by his edgy code name "Ravine Hero", was last seen struggling in the ocean of his own ignorance and stupidity that he accumulated by reading Deep Web articles.
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| Last photo of Ravine Hiro as he drowned in his own stupidity. |
The Deep Web is known for illegal activity, questionable articles, as well as stories that are obviously fake but apparently Filipinos fully believe.
Salute to the Fallen Hero
Ravine Hero was famous in the Deep Web community, after posting several scientifically stupid ideas like the Flat Earth Theory, which is already disproven centuries ago.According to some of his friends, Hero was too scientifically illiterate to understand how the world works, so he dove into the Deep Web to search for articles that are easy to digest.
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| Ravine, before he drowned. |
In his quest for ignorance, he found the Flat Earth Society of the Philippines, a group primarily composed of people who didn't listen in science class during their elementary and high school years.
Ravine Hero was survived by his equally ignorant supporters, who believe that he is still alive even after drowning in his own stupidity.
"Babalik po si Ravine. Nainject lang po yan ng AIDS tsaka kinidnap para gawing Lolita Doll. Pero babalik po siya," said one of his supporters, who wore a Guy Fawkes mask because he wants to be Anonymous.
Death by drowning
Ravine Hero is just one of the many Filipinos that are constantly diving in the Deep Web. According to psychologist Cide Morales, this recent phenomenon is a symptom of a coming tsunami of stupidity in the country."Most of these people do not know that if they open their mind too much, their brain might fall out," said Cide. "That is of course, they have a brain in the first place."
Meanwhile, the Philippine Navy and Coast Guard said they would monitor the situation and assured the public that the situation so far is under control.
"Kung malunod man sila sa katangan," said one of the Coast Guard personnel, "deserve na nila iyon."—The Filipino Garlic
This article is unfortunately a satire.
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